Blessingway
A Blessingway is a wonderful ritual which celebrates pregnancy acts as a preparation for childbirth and is a chance for the friends and family of a pregnant woman to come together to bless her on her way to motherhood.
Traditionally, a woman invites those people closest to her, in whose friendship and wisdom she trusts. You can invite friends to bring a plate of food and/or a gift if you like, but a special ceremony as part of your day is the central feature of a blessingway.
Blessingways are traditional to North American Indians who mark the transition a woman makes when she moves from maiden to mother. This rite of passage is the second 'blood rite' for a woman, the first being her first menstruation. It is a time of receiving for the mother to be, a time where she is nurtured and honoured by her community of women. The Blessingway ceremony acknowledges the commitment and energy involved in being a mother and gives her a time where all the energy is available for her to receive. This ceremony can be given to a woman each time she has a child, as with each child comes a new level of commitment.
Suggestions for the Ceremony
Blessingway Bead Ceremony – Each woman is asked to bring a bead for a blessing necklace. At some time during the ceremony a bowl is handed around the circle and each woman gives her bead and a blessing for mother and baby. Relatives and friends who cannot attend can mail in a bead with a little blessing note that will be shared for them. At the end of the ceremony one of the women threads the beads together and gives the necklace to the mother to have with her during the birth. This gives the mother to be a connection to all her women friends when she is birthing. You might also choose to make rose petal beads for this ceremony, the instructions are at the bottom of the page.
Binding of the wrists – The woman running the ritual brings a reel of wool or fine thread. The colour is usually red to represent blood. This is bound around each woman's left wrist by the woman who sits to the left of her, as each woman binds the thread on the other woman's wrist she says ' from women we were born into this circle, from women we were born unto this earth'. This ritual is symbolic of the thread that connects us all as women. It also keeps each woman tuned into the birthing mother as she leads up to her time and reminds them to send her positive, loving energy as they all see their red string every morning until the baby is born. Once each guest has delivered a helpful post-natal task for the birthing mother, the red string can be removed.
Massaging the Mother – Take along some pregnancy friendly massage oils and massage the mother with as many women as possible joining in. Brush her hair, give her a facial, foot rub, whatever indulgence she wants.
Flowers – Flowers are symbolic of natures' abundance and beauty just as a woman is when she is in her full pregnant bloom. Be sure to ask all women to bring flowers and create a beautiful alter with them. As each person shares their blessing, the flowers and herbs are placed into a bowl near the pregnant mother. At the end of the gathering, the flowers go home to be pressed or dried and then placed in a special bowl as a fragrant potpourri. This little bowl of dried flowers is inhaled frequently by the pregnant mother throughout the rest of the pregnancy and during labor as a positive reminder of the support and love from the blessingway. A flower crown is also a beautiful thing to have for the mother. After the baby’s birth, the flowers may be sewn into a sachet to keep with the baby’s clothes or toys. Pressed flowers can be added to a baby book
Singing – The singing of songs to celebrate woman, pregnancy and birth is a beautiful way to honour and share at a blessingway. Each women may bring a song or poem or instrument to play, or you may have a talented friend who can lead the group in song.
Belly Casting – A kit is usually the easiest way to ensure success with a belly casting. You can do your cast in private if you prefer and then have it at the Blessingway Circle as a group activity to decorate.
Really you are only limited by your imagination, this is your ceremony and there are as many ways to create a blessingway as there are women to create them for!
Post Birth Support
On the day of the Blessingway Ceremony have a close friend take the names and contact details of each woman present to be put on a support list for bringing meals after the birth. Each woman brings one meal (ensuring the ingredients are breastfeeding friendly) to the new mother and helps out in any way she can when she drops it off – e.g. dishwashing, clothes washing etc… This support is invaluable for the new mother at a big transition time in her life.
Add your own ideas inspired by this list that creates a day that suits your own personality and celebrates your unique wisdom and experience!
When a woman enjoys a peaceful, supported pregnancy and looks forward to a pleasurable birth, there is no doubt that a sense of bliss will create the optimal mental and emotional state for a new mother during labour.
Rose Petal Beads
To make rose petal beads; put a handful of rose petals, dried or fresh, in a blender with enough water to just cover them, whizz it up to make a pulp and then tip into a cheesecloth or muslin square to squeeze all the water out (a sieve will do if you haven't a cheesecloth but it is a little more messy and fiddly). Make sure you keep the rosewater as this can be used on the mother during the birth to cool her face and body. Cook the rosepulp in a double boiler or a bowl over a pot on a low heat, the longer it's cooked for the easier it is to work with. About an hour is good you can always add some of the rosewater if it gets too dry during the cooking. When cooked remove from the heat and allow to cool. When it's cool enough you can begin to roll the pulp into beads (remember the larger the bead the longer it will take to dry!), let the beads dry for about an hour on a flat surface before you make the hole, using either a pin or a bamboo skewer (depending on the size of the bead) then leave in a warm place to dry turning frequently to ensure even drying. The beads will shrink to about half their size during the drying process.
I am happy to create and facilitate your ceremony for you if you wish, alternatively I could create a kit for you to use yourself in order to take out the hard work of organising and setting up the ceremony. Just use the contact page to set up a time to discuss your needs and the costs.
Traditionally, a woman invites those people closest to her, in whose friendship and wisdom she trusts. You can invite friends to bring a plate of food and/or a gift if you like, but a special ceremony as part of your day is the central feature of a blessingway.
Blessingways are traditional to North American Indians who mark the transition a woman makes when she moves from maiden to mother. This rite of passage is the second 'blood rite' for a woman, the first being her first menstruation. It is a time of receiving for the mother to be, a time where she is nurtured and honoured by her community of women. The Blessingway ceremony acknowledges the commitment and energy involved in being a mother and gives her a time where all the energy is available for her to receive. This ceremony can be given to a woman each time she has a child, as with each child comes a new level of commitment.
Suggestions for the Ceremony
Blessingway Bead Ceremony – Each woman is asked to bring a bead for a blessing necklace. At some time during the ceremony a bowl is handed around the circle and each woman gives her bead and a blessing for mother and baby. Relatives and friends who cannot attend can mail in a bead with a little blessing note that will be shared for them. At the end of the ceremony one of the women threads the beads together and gives the necklace to the mother to have with her during the birth. This gives the mother to be a connection to all her women friends when she is birthing. You might also choose to make rose petal beads for this ceremony, the instructions are at the bottom of the page.
Binding of the wrists – The woman running the ritual brings a reel of wool or fine thread. The colour is usually red to represent blood. This is bound around each woman's left wrist by the woman who sits to the left of her, as each woman binds the thread on the other woman's wrist she says ' from women we were born into this circle, from women we were born unto this earth'. This ritual is symbolic of the thread that connects us all as women. It also keeps each woman tuned into the birthing mother as she leads up to her time and reminds them to send her positive, loving energy as they all see their red string every morning until the baby is born. Once each guest has delivered a helpful post-natal task for the birthing mother, the red string can be removed.
Massaging the Mother – Take along some pregnancy friendly massage oils and massage the mother with as many women as possible joining in. Brush her hair, give her a facial, foot rub, whatever indulgence she wants.
Flowers – Flowers are symbolic of natures' abundance and beauty just as a woman is when she is in her full pregnant bloom. Be sure to ask all women to bring flowers and create a beautiful alter with them. As each person shares their blessing, the flowers and herbs are placed into a bowl near the pregnant mother. At the end of the gathering, the flowers go home to be pressed or dried and then placed in a special bowl as a fragrant potpourri. This little bowl of dried flowers is inhaled frequently by the pregnant mother throughout the rest of the pregnancy and during labor as a positive reminder of the support and love from the blessingway. A flower crown is also a beautiful thing to have for the mother. After the baby’s birth, the flowers may be sewn into a sachet to keep with the baby’s clothes or toys. Pressed flowers can be added to a baby book
Singing – The singing of songs to celebrate woman, pregnancy and birth is a beautiful way to honour and share at a blessingway. Each women may bring a song or poem or instrument to play, or you may have a talented friend who can lead the group in song.
Belly Casting – A kit is usually the easiest way to ensure success with a belly casting. You can do your cast in private if you prefer and then have it at the Blessingway Circle as a group activity to decorate.
Really you are only limited by your imagination, this is your ceremony and there are as many ways to create a blessingway as there are women to create them for!
Post Birth Support
On the day of the Blessingway Ceremony have a close friend take the names and contact details of each woman present to be put on a support list for bringing meals after the birth. Each woman brings one meal (ensuring the ingredients are breastfeeding friendly) to the new mother and helps out in any way she can when she drops it off – e.g. dishwashing, clothes washing etc… This support is invaluable for the new mother at a big transition time in her life.
Add your own ideas inspired by this list that creates a day that suits your own personality and celebrates your unique wisdom and experience!
When a woman enjoys a peaceful, supported pregnancy and looks forward to a pleasurable birth, there is no doubt that a sense of bliss will create the optimal mental and emotional state for a new mother during labour.
Rose Petal Beads
To make rose petal beads; put a handful of rose petals, dried or fresh, in a blender with enough water to just cover them, whizz it up to make a pulp and then tip into a cheesecloth or muslin square to squeeze all the water out (a sieve will do if you haven't a cheesecloth but it is a little more messy and fiddly). Make sure you keep the rosewater as this can be used on the mother during the birth to cool her face and body. Cook the rosepulp in a double boiler or a bowl over a pot on a low heat, the longer it's cooked for the easier it is to work with. About an hour is good you can always add some of the rosewater if it gets too dry during the cooking. When cooked remove from the heat and allow to cool. When it's cool enough you can begin to roll the pulp into beads (remember the larger the bead the longer it will take to dry!), let the beads dry for about an hour on a flat surface before you make the hole, using either a pin or a bamboo skewer (depending on the size of the bead) then leave in a warm place to dry turning frequently to ensure even drying. The beads will shrink to about half their size during the drying process.
I am happy to create and facilitate your ceremony for you if you wish, alternatively I could create a kit for you to use yourself in order to take out the hard work of organising and setting up the ceremony. Just use the contact page to set up a time to discuss your needs and the costs.